True Love
societyculturerelationships
This show is about my quest for a life partner, children of my own and a family in my forties. I'm inviting women, like me, who have always longed for marriage and kids, but feel frustrated in their efforts, to join me in my search. trueloveshow.substack.com
Episodes
Episode 53 14 hours ago 55 minEpisode 53: Tri-state area matchmaker Rachel Russo
Rachel Russo, a princeton, NJ based matchmaker talks compatibility, finding love and how to work the apps with confidence. You can find her at rachelrusso.com for matchmaking and dating advice!Join the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 52 yesterday 79 minEpisode 52: Matchmaking in the city of love with Parisian matchmaker Esther Valencic (Felicity)
In this episode, we visit the city of love with Parisian matchmaker, Esther Valencic, matchmaker at Felicity a boutique company that helps singles find lasting love in Paris and Ile de France. This episode is in French with English subtitles. Inscrivez-vous: https://www.felicity-dating.fr/Join the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 51 2 days ago 54 minEpisode 51: Ukrainian Matchmaking with Inna Myruta (Ukrainemariage)
Inna Myruta is Ukrainian matchmaker living in Toulouse who has a unique speciality - matching Ukrainian women with French men for marriage. Yes, I also thought it was a bit odd at first, but now I'm all in! Inna is an extraordinary woman, generous and deeply committed to building lasting love between great men and amazing women. Plus, 23andMe revealed I'm 55% Ukrainian, so Inna is going to help me out:) We also discuss the situation of Ukrainian women in France, ongoing war in Ukraine and how you can help. This episode is recorded in French with English subtitles. You can find Inna at https://ukrainemariage.com/Join the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 50 3 days ago 66 minEpisode 50: Asian Matchmaking with May Bugenhagen
Today, I talk love with May Bugenhagen, a matchmaker for over 17 years who specializes in Asian matchmaking. May is a brilliant and compassionate matchmaker offers some amazing tips including 15 minute a day intentional app work, focusing on one app at a time and how to identify an ideal match. She's a beautiful, careful listener, and I really felt heard and held in this conversations.You can work with May by visiting Two Asian Matchmakers: https://twoasianmatchmakers.com/Join the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 49 4 days ago 73 minEpisode 49: Finding my Moon Man with Tatiana Persico (VEDA matchmaking)
A heart-to-heart with Russian psychologist turned matchmaker living in Valencia. Tatiana traveled the world to find her love and now helps others do the same. Men can find Tatiana on LinkedIn for matchmaking and women can reach out on Instagram for support and dating coaching. Beautiful Tatiana is like a lovely heart on your Valentine's card radiating sweetness and light. I really got some unique insights from her and think you'll definitely enjoy this episode. Tatiana on LinkedInhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/tatiana-persico-042726301/Tatiana on instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/territorio_amor/Some other resourcesJoin the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 48 4 days ago 63 minEpisode 48: Sober Dating after 40 with recruiter-turned-matchmaker Jackie Harmon
Tune in to this lovely, affirming chat with Jackie Harmon (recruiter-turned-matchmaker). Jackie specializes in helping women 45+ discover love beyond apps & awkward Dates, build confidence, community, and connection. She offers transformative programs, group coaching and live events. Find her here at Ignite Life and Love https://ignitelifeandlove.com/Join the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 47 6 days ago 70 minEpisode 47: A heart-to-heart with Alexandra Freeman (Luxury and VIP Matchmaker at Introductions Inc)
Alexandra Freeman is the Founder and Head Matchmaker at Introductions Inc, a Luxury and High End Matchmaking offering matchmaking and dating coaching. I absolutely loved my conversation with Alexandra. She’s full of sharp insights into compatibility, what makes an ideal partner, and practical tips for navigating the dating landscape. You can find her, hire her for matchmaking or dating coaching, or join the free database here: https://introductionsinc.comSome more resources. Join the True Love Singles Community on Substack: https://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
last week 72 minEpisode 46: Finding love, getting married and having children in your 40's with Barbara Acuna
Barbara is an inspiring example of a successful woman who found love in her 40’s, got married to a wonderful woman and is pregnant with her first child! Like me, she’s a digital nomad, and I was so excited to connect with her and make a new friend through this podcast. She’s currently a doctor and hatching her new dream of building a holistic medicine practice in Spain. Find her on instagram @acuna28003Note to men: You’ve only earned the right to post bathroom selfies on social media when you’re a pregnant in your 40’s. #datingapps #adhd #relationships #marriage #40s #womenover40 A few more resources Barbara recommended:On Instagram@terediazsendra@estherperelofficialSara Kuburic @seerutkchawla@drjengunter@asawomanpodcastAdditional resourceshttps://trueloveshow.substack.com/Start your own Podcast with Riverside: https://riverside.sjv.io/6ymMnVGet professional photos 10x your dating profile with AI-edited photos (Use the coupon TRUELOVE for 15% off): https://www.aragon.ai/ai-dating-photos?via=truelove Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 45 last week 38 minEpisode 45: Love Tarot Reading with Neuroscientist Siddharth Ramakrishnan
My dear friend of 15+ years, neuroscientist, artist and author of "The Neuroscience of Tarot" kindly comes on the show to do my reading and help me gain clarity around this question of finding a life partner and building a family. This is one of my favorite episodes so far and I'm excited for you to tune in. Siddharth is the Chair of Neuroscience and Professor of Biology at the University of Puget Sound and a recipient of the prestigious National Science Foundation CAREER awardLearn more and get Siddharth's book and custom-made Tarot deck here:https://siddharthramakrishnan.comYou can purchase the Neuroscience of Tarot on Amazon here:https://amzn.to/4jM5bRGFeel free to leave questions in the comments section and we'll do our best to weigh in. I think I'm going to be doing some more episodes with Siddharth, including diving into manifestation, so please also free to share ideas on what you'd like us to do or talk about in future conversations. Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 44 last week 69 minEpisode 44: Matchmaking with Melissa
A big welcome to our first guest from the Midwest! (Where all the men are tall, women are good-looking and children are above average...if you get that reference, you are age appropriate:) Melissa Eadeh is a professional matchmaker and founder of Matchmaking With Melissa. Based in Cleveland, she organizes matches all over the United States and the world. We dive into national dating searches, where to find emotionally intelligent men, sexual preferences in dating. You can learn more about what Melissa offers on her website at https://matchmakingwithmelissa.com/ She's also on instagram and soon to be on TikTok @matchmaking_with_melissa . Melissa is an incredibly lovely and grounded human with a big heart and talent for making great matches. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I do. Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 43 last week 64 minEpisode 43: Defining your ideal partner with Hunt Ethridge
Award-winning NYC-based matchmaker, relationship coach Hunt Ethridge does a deep dive with me on how to get clear on the ideal partner and where to find him. We touch on dating apps, meeting in the wild, dating in different countries, and even navigating early sex in dating! Hunt really illustrates the value of women working with a male coach in order to understand better how men think and where to find the ideal man for you. You can find Hunt on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@huntster44 or Instagram @questforadvice. He’s also on LinkedIN https://www.linkedin.com/in/huntethridge/ Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
last week 82 minEpisode 42: Making Modern Gentlemen with Brandon Dawkins
It's our first male guest! Brandon Dawkins is a gem of a man, and the founder of Modern Gentlemen Project which coaches men to be better daters - and better men! I think of Brandon a little bit as upgrading men for women everywhere. @moderngentlemanproject If you're interested in working with Brandon as a man, or possibly joining his forthcoming matchmaking cohort as a woman, you can find him at the Modern Gentlemen Project website or on instagram! https://moderngentlemanproject.com/https://www.instagram.com/moderngentlemanprojectWe also touched a little bit on climate change and HVACR careers (here are the links)https://drawdown.org/explorerhttps://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7415021177645154306/ Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 41 last week 12 minEpisode 41: Sparkle or Bust
Trying and failing..or not? Plus some red lipstick, light nudity and limited-time sponsorship opportunities. Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
last week 28 minEpisode 40: A Love Letter to My Besties
In my interview with Talia Goldstein, founder of @ThreeDayRule she suggested an exercise on how to identify your ideal life partner by thinking about the qualities of friends who make you feel like the best version of yourself. I go through the exercise in this video, and I encourage you to do your own along with me! Thanks for the great tips, Talia! Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 39 10 Jan 2026 53 minEpisode 39: Matchmaker Talia Goldstein from Three Day Rule
I have such a special guest for you, today! Professional Matchmaker Talia Goldstein is the founder of The Three Day Rule, a world renowned bespoke matchmaking service. Talia has convinced me hands-down that matchmaking is the way to go for finding your soul mate, and the Three Day Rule is the place to start for women.Anyone can join their database for free, so get on that today! (Just scroll down to the bottom of this page to get started)https://www.threedayrule.com/what_we_offerThey also offer curated matchmaking, coaching and a wide range of other services.I found Talia to be such a ray of bright light and I think you’ll really enjoy hearing her insights into the value of matchmaking for modern daters.Here’s some links for you to get started:The Three Day Rule: https://www.threedayrule.com/On YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@ThreeDayRulehttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLNqWpZcYzLxVyvdI_dbFJmMP32g9iXxrOn Instagram:Talia Goldstein @taliagoldsThe Three Day Rule is @threedayruleShe is also the Co-host @youseemgreatpodcast.You Seem Great Podcast on Apple PodcastsYou Seem Great Podcast on Spotify Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 38 9 Jan 2026 60 minEpisode 38: Dating Coach Melissa Hannon from Overpour and Overshare
I had a fabulous conversation with dating coach and wellness expert Mel Hannon from @Overpourandovershare, who is living her best life in Bali and recently launched Overpour and Overshare. She brings a unique insight into the male perspective, having coached many men at the Attractive Man.You can find her at:https://www.melissahannon.com/and on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ltle_miss_melis/ and Substack: Overpour & Overshare by Mel Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 37 8 Jan 2026 18 minEpisode 37: Simply Showing Up
When you don’t know where to start, when everything is breaking down, sometimes the best thing is to simply show up. Here’s me showing up for you and you being here giving me a reason to show up for me. Plus some updates on my dating life. Good vibes kindly requested! ❤️ Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
7 Jan 2026 1 minSonnet 18: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? By William Shakespeare
Sonnet 18: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? By William Shakespeare Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 36 7 Jan 2026 13 minEpisode 36: Getting ugly with chocolate cake
Note to self: don't jump into heavy male-dominated exercise just to meet men without proper vetting and preparation.Recommended Resources: For incredible, holistic fitness training: https://www.fitandfkd.com/ @FITANDFKD For "free therapy" (or the price of chocolate cake: https://ambasadorsplit.com/en @hotelambasadorsplit NOT recommended resources / Do NOT go to this gym:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057515708080# Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
6 Jan 2026 12 minEpisode 35: Scaling Back, Video Calls and Vetting for Character
I woke up wanting to give up on dating today ("maybe there just aren't enough good men"), and then this happened...I took @MinaYang-true 's advice from Episode 33, and so far so good!1) Scaling back2) Video call3) Vetting for characterI I cut out my date's voice for privacy, but saved it so I can share it when we get married:) Also, why is a guy who is good at scheduling so damn sexy? A few thoughts: I might have thought this guy was too good to be true if we hadn't actually had a video call. In terms of vetting for character, it was more of a framework or perspective I was coming from than carefully analyzing every detail to see if the person had a good character.If you're a woman wondering how to run these conversations, notice I worked in a slightly flirty, genuine compliment (about his accent). I learned this from ( @thematthewhussey who says its good to say one thing that makes this not a friend thing but is a little sexy). It can feel a little weird showing your physical attraction, but you can say something as stupid as I did and it works really well. Men LIKE it when women are attracted to them! Another thing I worked in is a compliment: my dating coach I worked with previously said it's good to compliment guys at least once, (but not about their physical appearance.)p.s. he actually re-arranged his schedule and asked if we could meet tonight, so I'm excited! Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 34 5 Jan 2026 14 minEpisode 34: Love Poems
Rumi, Shakespeare, Gibran, Lorca and some other favorites to get into a love vibe. Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
Episode 22 4 Jan 2026 64 minEpisode 33: True connections with Mina Yang (hypnotherapist and relationship coach)
Join the True Connection Circle: https://www.minayang.com/program-details. Get a free month when you register before January 6. In this conversation with Mina Yang (relationship coach and hypnotherapist), we explore the unique challenges of dating as a highly successful women, the extraordinary power of hypnotherapy, the value of marriage and what to look for in a partner (spoiler alert: it’s an exceptional character). I absolutely loved this conversation with Mina, actually came away with a ton of new insights (which is rare!) and am so excited to share it with you! You can get Mina’s book (Boss Lady Boss Love) on Amazon:https://amzn.to/4sr9k1dAnd here’s her website with the True Connection Circle, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, an amazing upcoming retreats in wine country and some cool goodies. I’m getting the green flags mug!https://www.minayang.com/Enjoy:) Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
3 Jan 2026 28 minEpisode 32: Forgiving My Father
If I can forgive my father, maybe I can fall in love with me. Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
2 Jan 2026 40 minEpisode 31: Be Selective in Dating
To anyone whose been told, "you're too picky," I say, "be even more selective."Resources:Mina Yanghttps://www.minayang.com/Level Connectionshttps://app.levelconnections.com/ Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
1 Jan 2026 40 minEpisode 30: The Romantic Heroine
What is this quest all about anyway? Meandering through my childhood, cultural mythology, personal psychology, the nature of love and spirituality try to understand why I want this anyway…what’s it all about? + Happy New Year everyone! Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
31 Dec 2025 8 minEpisode 29: New Year's Eve With My Besties
Enjoying every moment in my life and getting advice from my besties. Happy New Year's Eve Everyone! Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
30 Dec 2025 5 minEpisode 28: Responding to Negative Comments About the Show
If you enjoy the show and you're learning, feel free to join our community to continue the conversation! I'd love to interact with you here. Join the community: truelove[dot]substack[dot]com Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
29 Dec 2025 41 minEpisode 27: More Tinder Swiping (Since you seem to like that...)
My Tinder Saga continues. No dates yet. Today, I try to honor the humanity of the people behind these tinder profiles...with varying success. It takes a lot of focus. Collected Poems of Wendell Berry with “For an Absence”https://amzn.to/4pbxFoXThis is an affiliate link so I may earn a few bucks if you buy this poetry book:) Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
28 Dec 2025 39 minEpisode 26: The Tinder Swiping Saga Continues
Wow. Online dating really does bring out the worst in people, especially me!My two tinder dates fell through, mostly due to my own flakiness and dating hangups, so I kept swiping and tried to find a match, but it doesn’t feel like I’m getting much closer.In the meanwhile, I’m trying some new channels and also zoom in on where my ideal partner might hang out…and/or what channels he’d use to find ME!Here are the chatGPT prompts and answers I reference in this video. LOL.PROMPT:Where do handsome, fit, wealthy, kind, chivalrous men in their 40’s hang out ?Men like that don’t usually “hang out” in obvious singles venues. In their 40s—especially if they’re fit, successful, and kind—they organize their lives around purpose, mastery, and values, not nightlife. You’ll find them where standards are implicit and behavior matters.Here’s where they actually show up, by category—and why.1. High-Commitment Fitness (not flashy gyms)These men train for longevity and discipline, not vanity.* Private training studios / invite-only gyms* Tennis, squash, or padel clubs* Masters swimming programs* Cycling groups (especially early-morning rides)* Rowing clubs* Martial arts with lineage (BJJ, aikido, kendo)Why: Consistency, self-control, and humility matter here. Chivalrous men prefer environments where effort > display.2. Intellectual + Cultural SpacesThey’re curious, grounded, and socially literate.* Author talks, book salons, philosophy nights* Museum patron events and exhibition openings* Classical music concerts, chamber music, jazz* Independent cinema Q&As and film societies* Language schools or cultural institutes (French, Italian, Goethe)Why: These environments filter for emotional intelligence and respect. Loud egos don’t last here.3. Purpose-Driven Travel & Skill RetreatsNot party travel—competence travel.* Hiking, alpine or sailing expeditions* Cycling or ski trips organized by clubs* Writing, photography, or meditation retreats* Culinary workshops (especially regional or plant-forward)Why: Men who invest in growth and skill tend to be relationally mature.4. Quiet Wealth Social Circles (Not Flashy)Truly wealthy men avoid show.* Private member clubs (not influencer-y ones)* Angel investor salons or invite-only dinners* Philanthropic boards and fundraisers* Environmental, arts, or education nonprofitsWhy: Kind, chivalrous men care about stewardship, not status signaling.5. Faith-Adjacent but Not DogmaticEven if not religious, they value meaning.* Interfaith dialogues* Ethics or contemplative groups* Volunteer-based community initiativesWhy: These men have a moral compass—and practice it quietly.6. Where They AreNotThis matters just as much.* Loud cocktail bars* Dating apps as a primary channel* Clubs or party-heavy beach scenes* Places that reward bravado over courtesyIf you see a man who needs to be seen, he’s usually not chivalrous.7. The Meta-Truth (Important)Men like this don’t approach everyone.They approach women who signal:* Self-respect without hardness* Warmth without neediness* Standards without superiority* A full life they’d add to, not rescueYour environment selects them—but your presence activates them.8. If You’re in Europe (including Croatia)You’ll disproportionately find them in:* Early-morning cafés (espresso, newspaper, calm)* Sailing clubs and marinas (especially weekday mornings)* Bookstores + café hybrids* Slow-food events, olive oil or wine tastings (small producers)* Hiking trails and alpine lodgesThey move early, quietly, and intentionally.Final ReframeThe question isn’t “Where do they hang out?”It’s “Where do my values naturally overlap with theirs?”Those men choose places that reward consistency, character, and contribution—and they choose partners the same way.If you want, I can also map:* How to signal openness without chasing* How to start conversations that feel organic (not forward)* How to tell within 10 minutes if a man is kind vs performativeJust say the word.PROMPT 2:I’m also wondering where they would go if they wanted to find a wifeThis is a very perceptive question — because men like the ones you’re describing do not “go looking for a wife” in the same places they go for stimulation or distraction. When a fit, wealthy, kind, chivalrous man in his 40s is open to marriage, his behavior becomes deliberate, quieter, and values-driven.Here is where they intentionally put themselves when they are wife-minded — not just socially active.1. Through Trusted Human Filters (most common)This is by far the primary channel.* Friends’ spouses* Married couples they respect* Sisters, cousins, longtime female friends* Business partners’ families* Community leaders they trustWhy:A man who wants a wife wants pre-vetted character, not chemistry roulette.Introductions lower risk and raise quality.What this means for you:Being known as warm, grounded, and discerning is more powerful than being visible.2. Values-Aligned Communities (where courtship still exists)They show up where behavior matters.* Faith-adjacent communities (even lightly observant)* Volunteer or board roles (education, environment, arts)* Long-standing clubs with codes of conduct (sailing, tennis, hiking)* Retreats or residencies (writing, mindfulness, nature)Why:These spaces reward reliability, service, and restraint — traits essential for marriage.3. Slow, Repeated Exposure EnvironmentsThey want to observe over time, not decide in one night.* Weekly classes (language, philosophy, cooking)* Seasonal sports leagues or training groups* Community choirs or orchestras* Ongoing lecture seriesWhy:A wife-minded man wants to see how a woman:* Treats others* Handles frustration* Shows consistency* Ages across weeks, not hours4. Selective, Relationship-Oriented MatchmakersNot apps. Not swiping.* Discreet matchmakers* Invitation-only dating circles* Referrals from therapists or coaches (yes, really)Why:These men outsource filtering to protect time and emotional energy.5. Everyday Life —But at Unrushed HoursThis part surprises people.* Morning cafés (same time, same seat)* Bookstores mid-day* Farmers markets early* Museums on weekday afternoons* Long walks, coastal paths, botanical gardensWhy:When a man is ready for marriage, he lives in a regulated nervous system.He moves slowly. He notices.6. How TheySignal They’re Wife-MindedThis matters more than location.* They ask about your life structure, not just feelings* They mention family, legacy, health, future rhythms* They follow up consistently* They don’t escalate physically fast* They observe your boundaries and respect themA chivalrous man courts through attention and reliability, not intensity.7. The Hard Truth (said gently)When these men want a wife, they are not looking for:* Maximum spark* Performance femininity* Youth signaling* ImpressivenessThey are looking for:* Emotional steadiness* Warmth under stress* Capacity for partnership* A woman who likes her life8. What Increases Your Probability (quietly)You don’t need to hunt. You need to be legible.* Let married friends know you’re open to being introduced* Be a regular somewhere that reflects your values* Show warmth + boundaries simultaneously* Live in a rhythm that looks like someone you’d marryMen who want wives look for women who already live wife-shaped lives — not aspirationally, but peacefully.Final FrameThese men don’t ask:“Where are the women?”They ask:“Who would make life calmer, richer, and more humane?”They find her through reputation, repetition, and respect.If you want, I can also help you:* Signal wife-readiness without desperation* Tell early if a man is marriage-minded vs lonely* Craft language that invites introductions naturallyJust tell me which angle you want.PROMPT 3:Who would typically know these men? Eg high paid divorce attorneysThis is a very sharp line of inquiry, because the men you’re describing are not widely visible — they are known through custodians of trust. People who handle discretion, risk, money, reputation, or vulnerability tend to know exactly who these men are.Below is a clear map of who typically knows them, and why.Tier 1: Custodians of Private Life (most accurate)These people see men at turning points — divorce, illness, restructuring life — and know who is actually decent vs performative.1. High-End Divorce & Family Law AttorneysYes — absolutely.They know:* Who behaved honorably under stress* Who protects children and ex-partners* Who paid fairly without being vindictive* Who is emotionally regulated vs volatileCaveat:Many great men divorce because they married too young, grew apart, or their partner changed. Divorce alone is not a red flag — conduct during divorce is the signal.2. Wealth Managers / Private Bankers / Family OfficesThese professionals know:* Net worth (real, not flashy)* Temperament with risk* Long-term planning mindset* Whether someone is generous or controllingThey often personally like their best clients and quietly socialize with them.3. Executive & Life Coaches (for leaders)Men who invest in coaching tend to:* Take responsibility* Work on blind spots* Want better relationships, not just successA man seeing a coach in his 40s is often actively redesigning his life.4. Therapists (especially men’s groups)Contrary to stereotype:* Emotionally mature men do therapy* They show up consistently* They care about relational healthTherapists know which men are genuinely ready for partnership — but confidentiality means this knowledge moves only through social overlap.Tier 2: Keepers of Reputation & Rhythm5. Longtime Married CouplesEspecially:* Couples married 15–30 years* Couples who host dinners* Couples active in community leadershipThey know which men are:* Lonely but solid* Divorced but evolved* Quietly excellentThey act as informal matchmakers when trust is high.6. Board Chairs & Nonprofit DirectorsMen who serve on boards:* Are vetted repeatedly* Are accountable to peers* Have reputations to protectBoard communities quietly circulate social information.7. Physicians (Concierge / Longevity / Sports Medicine)Doctors know:* Who takes care of themselves* Who follows advice* Who is disciplined vs impulsiveSome doctors socialize with patients or refer socially through spouses.Tier 3: Skill & Craft Gatekeepers8. Club Managers (Sailing, Tennis, Country, Alpine)They know:* Who shows up reliably* Who behaves well socially* Who’s single, divorced, or widowedGood club managers are social hubs, though underused.9. Architects, Builders, Interior DesignersThis surprises people — but:* These professionals work with men building homes (future-oriented)* They see relational patterns over long timelines10. Private School Heads / Alternative Education LeadersEspecially men with children:* Highly involved fathers* Values-driven men* Men who care about legacyThey know who is single and solid.Tier 4: Unexpected but Real11. High-End Funeral Directors / Estate PlannersYes — truly.They see:* How families behave under loss* Who steps up* Who is respected quietlyWidowers who are kind and grounded often re-enter life through these circles.The Key Insight (Important)You don’t ask these people:“Do you know any eligible men?”You signal:“I value steadiness, kindness, and building a life.”They then think of one or two names.How to Activate This Network (without awkwardness)* Be visible in overlapping trust ecosystems* Let one or two social connectors know you’re open* Focus on being known more than being seen* Move toward people who handle discretionMen who are good husbands are rarely advertising.They are held in mind by people who protect reputations.Bottom LineIf you want access to wife-minded, high-caliber men, you don’t enter the dating market — you enter the trust market.That’s where these men already live.If you want, I can help you:* Identify which of these nodes you already have access to* Craft a natural, dignified “openness signal”* Distinguish “recently divorced but ready” vs “emotionally unavailable”Just say where you want to go next. 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27 Dec 2025 65 minEpisode 25: Swiping on Tinder
Hey guys, I wanted to show you more of the actual swiping but it just ended up being way too complex trying to put stickers over all the images and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing people’s profiles, so it’s just me staring into the tinder abyss. Sorry about that!If you want a weird, inside look at what swiping on apps and getting date looks like in practice, this is the video for you!If you’re like me, you might find swiping extremely onerous. It’s hard, if not impossible to feel any sort of connection to someone’s photo and awkward text messages. But the men I’ve been meeting in the wild have been too young, under-employed and unavailable, so I feel like it’s a worthwhile place to find a compatible peer. Getting yourself out there on dates is also just SUCH a great way to feel more attractive and start putting out a subtle vibe that you’re available. Honestly, I start getting approached by so many men as soon as I start going ondates!Here’s what I did.Set a clear goal of getting at least one date. The key here is to get myself out there, not necessarily find the man I’m going to marry.What’s hard about Tinder is there is SO much to sort through, fake, real, avoidant, just there to be overly sexual and scare women or get a one night-stand and a lot of married guys. But the good thing is literally EVERY MAN is on it. So, you can see the full scope of what’s out there and get realistic about what you’re looking for and what’s actually possible.Here’s what seems to work* Put aside 1.5-2 hrs on a Friday night to swipe and message with people. I HIGHLY recommend doing thsi with a friend and making it fun. Let them grab your phone and get guys on dates!* Text the guys first. They will appreciate it and you can be more selective. This is not “chasing.”* Invited people who seemed decent to coffee ASAP.* Get off the app and into the world. If they resist, dump ‘em* In general, think the best of people, don’t criticize and be honest, but funny and flirty.* Guys are terrible at this (often and especially the good ones), so be a little forgiving.It’s easier in this day and age to take a good photo, so the photos are typically pretty accurate, but again, guys are not great at this.One note: I’ve had a lot of support on getting my dating profile in top shape including having a dating coach take my photos and it DOES make a difference in the quality of matches. This isn’t the subject of this episode. If you haven’t done this, I strongly recommend getting a dating coach to help if you can afford it (there are even people on fiverr). Or at least, ask a friend to help out who successfully met someone online.Thanks for everyone who put good vibes out to me! I have a date I’m looking forward to tomorrow! Get full access to True Love at trueloveshow.substack.com/subscribe
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